Let’s be honest dating in 2025 feels less like falling in love and more like attending a group therapy session. Everyone’s talking about boundaries, triggers, and attachment styles before they even talk about their favourite crisps. It’s like love has turned into a psychology dissertation, and no one signed up for the coursework.
Love, but make it “emotionally regulated”
There was a time when you could just say, “I really like you.” Now it’s, “I feel a secure attachment forming due to consistent communication and emotional safety.” Excuse me? When did flirting start sounding like a TED Talk?
We’ve become so fluent in therapy-speak that genuine emotions now come with disclaimers. “I’m not ghosting you, I’m just setting boundaries.” “It’s not you, I’m emotionally unavailable right now.” “We’re not dating, we’re exploring our connection.” Translation: No one wants to admit they care first.
The overthinking generation
Maybe it’s not our fault. We’ve grown up in the age of over-awareness – podcasts about self-growth, infographics about trauma, Instagram decoding attachment theory. We know exactly why we act the way we do, but somehow that hasn’t made us better at love. If anything, it’s made us terrified of it.
We’ve replaced mystery with analysis. Instead of “I miss you,” we send texts like “I’m noticing an anxious pattern resurfacing.” Instead of feeling butterflies, we feel the urge to journal about them. It’s all very… emotionally intelligent. And painfully unromantic.
Healing or hiding?
Don’t get it twisted – therapy is amazing. Healing is necessary. But sometimes we hide behind healing because it feels safer than being vulnerable. We call people “emotionally unavailable,” but maybe we’re just emotionally exhausted. We don’t want to risk heartbreak again, so we self-analyse our way out of connection.
But here’s the thing: love isn’t supposed to be perfectly articulated. It’s messy, impulsive, sometimes irrational – and that’s what makes it human. No amount of self-awareness can replace the thrill of truly feeling something.
Maybe love is the healing
Perhaps we don’t need to be completely healed to deserve love. Maybe the point isn’t to master emotional regulation before dating – maybe love itself is what helps us soften, trust, and grow.
So the next time you find yourself editing your feelings into therapy-approved language, take a breath. Say what you mean. Feel what you feel. You don’t need to be a perfectly healed version of yourself to fall in love – just a real one.
