Friendship Day 2025
There’s something we all say when we meet up with an old friend after years:
“We picked up right where we left off.”
“Nothing changed.”
But if we're being honest, everything changed.
They evolved. So did you. You didn’t get to experience their heartbreak, their career change, their huge success, their bad spell, their change of thought. They didn’t get to experience yours. You have no idea how they coped. You weren’t around to witness how they turned into the person they are today.
And yet, we adore the concept of frictionless, effortless friendships. The sort where you don’t see each other for months or years, but everything’s just the same when you do. We idealize low-maintenance relationships. But let’s be honest, friendships, like anything that’s worth it, require maintenance.
There’s even a term for it – the friendship fade. Research indicates that most adult friendships tend to drift if not deliberately cultivated. Not because of a fight or a falling out. Because it’s life. New habits, new obligations, distance, time zones, or merely the comfort of thinking the other will always be there.
Friendships don't operate on autopilot.
They require check-ins, require work, require someone to initiate, to follow up, to be present. Occasionally they require uncomfortable conversations. The kind where you say, “Hey, I felt excluded,” or “I know we haven’t talked in a long time, but I miss you.” Not all friendships will make it through these conversations, but the ones that will be better off because of it.
We’ve been conditioned to think that love takes effort, family takes dedication, and careers take hustle. But friendship? That’s easy. That’s just supposed to be. And when it’s not, we think maybe it just wasn’t real enough.
What if the most real friendships are actually the work ones? The ones where both individuals continue to choose each other, even when it’s inconvenient. Even when it’s awkward.
It might be a friend who sends a voice note to just vent and doesn’t expect a response. A friend who recalls the day your parent died and calls to check in. A friend who finds time even when life gets busy. Or one who does bring up something, softly but firmly, when there is a fissure in the relationship.
Not All Friendships Fade—Some Just Need Effort
Yes, some relationships are sturdy enough to endure the fade. But wouldn’t it be best if we didn’t test that durability repeatedly?
So as Friendship Day 2025 rolls around, perhaps it’s not so much about firing off that one text or that throwback post. Perhaps it’s about checking in. About asking:
Who am I no longer close to, not because of an argument, but because we simply. gave up trying?
Who do I miss, but don’t feel comfortable reaching out to?
And what can I do today to be present for the friends who count?
Because friendship doesn’t thrive on love. It thrives on intention.